Keys to Search Happiness
Everyone is searching Happiness today, Isn’t? But do we know what is the key to this Happiness. Let us try to simplify this through this article here.
To simplify, let us see happiness in steps. Let us understand what all is needed to bring our mind and heart to a happy stage.
Your surroundings are everything you see, hear and feel when you look around you. It is your environment and the results you are getting.
Behavior includes what you do, how you do it, what you do it with and how others behave with you. It is also about what you think, what you say and how you say
Step:3 SKILLS & CAPABILITIES
Skills and capabilities are all the talents you have or could have, given the opportunity.
Step:4 VALUES AND BELIEFS
Values and beliefs are the programming, power, motivation and energy behind your actions.
Identity is about acknowledging your root and accepting yourself for who you are.
Purpose is what brings meaning into your life. It is why you are here.
It is important to understand that Happiness lies in either of these steps. If one of your step is not working, it is time to move on to other step and your
key should be lying there.
Meaningful and lasting change may therefore only be achieved by working at least on step above the one you are on.
So, in summary:
- Nothing seems to change, despite the efforts you make.
- Things change for a while and then revert to your previous unwanted pattern of behavior.
- You are not motivated to change even if you know intellectually and logically that you should.
- You don’t know what’s stopping you from changing, improving or being happier.
In order to make lasting change in the things you are not happy about in your surroundings, you may need to work at least on step above on the stairway of Happiness.
- Take action.
- If required collect information.
- Get knowledge.
If you are unhappy with the things, you are currently doing, and you want to change them, you may need to work at least one step above on the Stairway of Happiness.
Skills & Capabilities
- Learn new courses.
- Read books and collect knowledge of your skills.
- Learn advance course in your existing qualification.
- Think what capacity, you have, and work on that capacity.
If you want to make lasting changes in the numbers of Skills and Capabilities you have, you may need to work at least one step above on the Stairway of Happiness.
Values and beliefs
- Replace out-of date/ unhelpful belief with practical and positive new ones.
- Change negative beliefs.
- Think, “If you will, you can”.
Sometimes what you believe and what you value will hold you back and contribute t your unhappiness. If you are looking to make lasting change in the sort of values and beliefs you have, then it may be necessary to work on step up at step5.
- Try changing any negative or more practical and positive one.
- Identify your inner strength.
If you are looking to make lasting changes in the sort of image you have about and who you are, you may need to work at the step above on the stairway of Happiness- i.e., you need to be clearer about your Purpose in life.
This is the top Step on the Stairway of Happiness. As there is no Step above, you may find it useful to consider here the big question of life.
- If you feel connected to a greater power or a larger system,
- You are more likely to know who you are,
- To feel you have a right to be here, to feel like a worthwhile person
- And to know the part you will play in the world.
This knowledge will affect the entire step on the Stairway of Happiness and will make you Happy.
Brilliant Ideas to develop the Happiness habit in your surroundings-
I. List what you love:
Make list of what you love about your house, your garden and the place where you work. Develop the Happiness Habit of focusing on what you like and love rather than what bothers you about your surroundings.
II. Consider what you can change about your surroundings:
Make a note of the things around you that really bug you and take away from your sense of well – being and happiness. Begin to consider the possibilities for change.
III. Clear the clutter:
Let’s talk about clutter. Have a look around and see all of those things you own. Go on be honest- do you need them all? Feng Shui suggests that a cluttered environment means a cluttered mind. Free your space and free your brain for happiness.
IV. Start with what’s easy:
If you want to change something, start with something that is easy to do and which is important to you. Here are some suggestions how to change your surroundings:
- Buy a plant
- Wash your window to let in more light
- Rearrange your furniture
- Change the lighting
- Buy a bunch of flowers
V. Consider the impossible:
Stop yourself from saying things such as, “Well, I can’t change that” and change it to “If I could change that, what would it be like?”
VI. Create a Happiness Album:
As you go through each day, consciously register when you are happy and take a mental note of that event. At the end of the day write them down in a notebook.
VII. Peace and quiet:
How much at home are you in your home? How much are you able to relax completely? Is your home a haven? Is it a place where you can recharge your batteries? If it isn’t, work it out where it is wrong?
VIII. Green fingers:
Read the gardening tips and decide to carry some of them out.
IX. Time for you:
Give yourself a bit of space. Resolve that however busy you might need to be, make time for yourself and do something for you that is a treat.
X. Now is the time:
Ensure that you value the pleasure of the here and now rather than putting all of your energies into the past or the future. Try saying something positive to yourself such as, ‘I am happy about……’ or ‘I’m really lucky to have / to be…..’
XI. Weigh it all up:
Look at the balance in every area of your life. For example, if work were taken away, what would you have left? If you retired tomorrow, what would you do?
XII. Thank you for the music:
Music can certainly change your mood. Some tunes and songs change your mod instantly and bring happy memories flooding back. Listening to the music will allow you to focus on those happy feelings you enjoyed at that time and to make them part of your current life.
When worries absorb your daily thoughts, doing something else that requires total concentration can mean that you forget your problems for a brief time. Why not learn to play a music instrument or join a choir, a group, a band, or have fun with any kind of activity that makes you feel good.
XIV. The happy office
Look at your office with fresh eyes. Do you like the room, the office where you work? Give yourself a fresh, orderly office and you will find that new ideas will come from a new perspective.
XV. The leisure Bubble:
There are a number of ways in which sport and hobbies can create a land of bubbles where you can ‘loose’ yourself and be truly in the moment.
- Choose an exercise activity you enjoy such as jogging, working out, swimming, walking, yoga, dancing etc. and do it regularly.
- Visit some art galleries, museums or exhibitions. Take time to study what you see, making no judgments, but simply register the experience.
- Do any one or more activities which you love and make you relax and happy.
XVI. Escape the trap;
If you are trapped in your surroundings, check first of all whether this is truly something you can’t change. If you genuinely can’t see any, then say to yourself, ‘If there was a choice what would it be? ‘ And pay attention to the first answer that springs to mind.’
The second step of happiness is that we are all responsible for our behaviors. This means that you are more in control of what happens to you than you think. Because you are in control of your actions and your actions are not in control of you.
Although you cannot control what happens to you in your life, you can control how you react to it. Accepting responsibility for the state of your happiness at the moment and deciding to adopt Happiness habits puts control of life squarely with you. This is true personal power.
The internal voice:
Inside our head we each have a voice that talks to us, giving a running commentary as we go through life.
The little voice does a very powerful job in undermining your self-belief and self-confidence, causing you to question your self-worth, your relationships with others and how other people see you.
Happiness lies within:
The starting point for happiness has to come from within. It does not lie in anyone else’s power to make you happy. Marriage is rarely the fairy tale we dream about but requires consistent effort, energy and flexibility to build the lasting relationship most of us are seeking.
Recognize the power of your filters:
The filter that you are using is one that only allows the good things through. You simply don’t see any of small irritations that might well be there all along. Happiness is built on unity and harmony whereas unhappiness is built on discord and difference.
When relationships are running well and smoothly, we tend to relax and feel cheerful. However, when they go wrong we are upset, out of sorts and anxious. It can affect our mood, our sleep pattern, and our eating habits and how we feel. That means you are emotionally hijack and your relationships are on higher risk.
Brilliant Ideas to develop the happiness habit in your behavior:
I. How to stop petty arguments and rows that seem to go on and on:
Now is the time to ban from your life the unproductive, energy sapping debates that are not about something of any importance anyway.
As it takes two people to engage in any argument, then resolve to be the one who will behave differently. Don’t wait for someone else to change what he or she say or do-you be the one to initiate change.
II. Just too late to be on time:
If you are someone who loves organization, schedules, plans and knowing exactly what you are doing and when you are doing it and if you live or work with someone who operates in a different way, choose something that is relatively unimportant and this time do it in a way that you normally wouldn’t.
For example, if you normally book tickets for the cinema before you go, don’t bother this time. All the tickets may be sold out, so you may end up watching film you might not have chosen.
By changing your behavior, it will have an effect on the person you are with. You may find that people like the new carefree you or they may be missing the organization you previously brought to their life.
III. The elephant in the room:
Have you ever felt uncomfortable in a relationship where you both find it impossible to talk about an important issue? It could be small or too big problems (elephant). Ignoring this particular elephant has led to growing estrangement and isolation within the relationship.
Check out if an elephant is the room in the relationships you have. It will take courage to acknowledge the elephant and discuss what to do. It will also bring relief and will be the first step in resolving the issue.
IV. Making the most of your colleagues:
Research shows that having a best friend at work is a key ingredient of happiness at work. Have you got a friend and an ally at work? If not, try out these ideas to track one down!
How to find a best friend at work
- The next time you get into the lift, talk to who ever are there with you.
- Decide to use e-mail only when you have to and drop by a colleague’s desk instead of phoning or e-mailing.
- Bring a cake into the office on your birthday and share it with colleagues.
V. Do something unexpected:
A healthy and comfortable part of relationships is the reliability of how people are likely to behave. You know what people will do and people know what you will do. However, you can prevent boredom seeping into your relationship and add sparkle to your life by changing your normal pattern of behaviors.
- Buy an unexpected present.
- Buy your supermarket shopping on line for a change and use the time you save to go out with your family for a walk.
- Switch television off for a week and find other things to do.
- Leave the car in the garage and go out with your family on foot.
- The next time you drive past someone you know at a bus stop, offer him or her a lift.
- Eat together at a different time. If you usually eat in the kitchen, eat in the dining room and vice versa.
VI. Do it your way:
The route of personal fulfillment is choosing what is right or you.
Write a list of the things you regularly say to yourself.
Think through how you would be if you were to say;
‘I choose to…’
‘I choose not to…’
Doing this makes sure you are back in the driving seat of your own life, following your own path, not following a path set out by someone else.
VII. Death to routine:
Routine is part of our lives. Look at your own life and identity those areas of routine. Replace routine with ritual- something to look forward to rather than dread. The ritual is full of the excitement of the unknown. Do anything that makes a small step changing in your life.
3. Skills & Capabilities
Now is the time to examine the talents you have and what you are doing with the.
How good are you?
We have asked many people that question and we are amazed to find that typically people will start by telling us what they are not good at.
What about you? How did you answer the question? Did some of these negative’s spring to mind before you could think of all the positives?
The difference between skills and capabilities:
The first thing to recognize is that there is a difference between skills and Capabilities. Capabilities are the things we are able to do, even if we cannot do them yet.
Thus, we are capable of learning new skills if we want to or if we see the need to.
The other thing to be aware of is that sometimes we may have the knowledge bit not the skill. We may know exactly what to do, but we don’t know how. We need to learn how to translate this knowledge into skillful action if we are to develop our talents to the full.
Learn a new skill:
Current research on happiness would suggest that enduring happiness comes from finding opportunities to develop new skills. These challenges might differ depending on what stage of life you are at.
What’s more important than age is attitude of mind and opportunity.The challenge lies in acquiring new skills and abilities with all of the difficulties that these could encompass. Sometimes the fact that something is hard, requiring real effort, overcoming obstacles and triumphantly reaching a conclusion is what gives a huge injection of happiness.
Happiness is a skill. The good news is that happiness is also skill that can be learned. The happiness habit is learning to behave in an instinctively happy and cheerful way. If you do this consistently, you will feel genuinely happy because what the body does, the mind follows.
Laughing and smiling:
Treat smiling and laughing as a skill. Learn to laugh more. Make it a habit. Sometimes life gets so serious we forget how to laugh. We miss out on all the good things laughter brings such as the release of endorphins in the body (Providing the sane feel-good factor as chocolate but without the calories!!), deeper breathing resulting in increased oxygen in the bloodstream giving us greater energy and the release of muscle tension and therefore stress relief. Laughter is a habit.
Using Your Brain Power:
The brain calls on good memories in order to experience good feelings. It calls on bad memories in order to experience bad feelings. In order therefore to increase the amount of happiness you feel, you need to access more of the positive emotions. These feelings come from responses to things we have experienced in the past. Reliving these experiences will bring the good feelings from the past into the present. This is skill that will increase the amount of happiness in your life. Using these experiences to develop new perspectives will create new emotional habits. You will be retraining yourself to fire proof different habits, different responses and develop a new happiness skill.
Keeping up to date:
Keeping up to date is important if you are keen to develop your skills to their potential. Only 20 years ago who would have believe that a useful skill might be programming your video recorder or your mobile phone? If you don’t keep up to date the opportunities for development will pass you by.
Taking care of you:
We all know the theory of healthy eating and exercise, yet not many of us live it every day of our lives.
Learning to look after yourself is part of your development that will lead to greater happiness. Looking after you many mean gaining new knowledge and skills such as information about additives, nutrition and dieting, sports and exercise.
4. Values and beliefs
Look around you. How can you feel about the path you are following…?
- If you cannot find the energy and the motivation to get on with life.
- If you’re unhappy with how you’re living, perhaps allowing yourself to do things that you feel uneasy with.
- If you’re going along with a way of life that does not for with what is important to you.
- If you’re doing something that feels somehow wrong for you.
- If someone else's values are overshadowing yours so that you way of life has been choice by someone else?
Be True to Yourself:
What is important to you in your life? What is really important to you in your life? Have you ever taken the time to think about these things, to work our exactly what they are and then make sure that you’re giving them enough time? The day – to – day pressure of everyday life often absorbs the precious time we could give to what really matters. Positive beliefs about others and us are the best starting point for happiness.
As a happy person you will be true to yourself. You will be clear about what you believe in and what you value in life and you won’t allow yourself to be influenced by other people or external events.
If your beliefs and values are not working for you, then you need to make changes at the level above- Identity.
Values and beliefs may not be the something we think about consciously in our day- to- day live. However, their impact is fundamental to the amount of happiness in our lives.
Programming and power:
Values and beliefs are therefore the programming, the power and the motivation for what we do in our daily lives. They provide the motivation to do or not do things in our lives.
Two of the most common values are those of achievement and challenge.
The fruit tree:
Values are the branches that beliefs hang on. It's rather like the fruit hanging on the branches of a tree. Each branch is a value and each piece of fruit is a belief.
Believe it or not:
Beliefs are what we hold to be true. They drive our behavior.
Isn’t it great to know that we can all choose our beliefs and we can choose what we don’t believe in? Now of course, for deeply rooted negative beliefs, this may take a little longer, but just to know that it’s possible and to keep an open mind about what might work is a great starting point.
The pharmacy of the brain:
Each of us has our own personal pharmacy in the brain. What we believe and what we think trigger off certain physical reactions. This in turn allows the brain to drip feed us with natural chemical. Positive thoughts and beliefs help the brain secrete wonderful endorphins into our body. These produce a feel- good factor, help our immune system, and make us less vulnerable to illness.
Happiness – the peak state:
Just before a race, athletes concentrate on getting themselves into Peak state, the position trance-like feeling where they focus only on the goal in hand and which gives them the best chance of winning. Now in the race of life we can do the same thing. Being in a Peak state is a state of Happiness. When we are in this peak state it’s impossible to feel negative or unhappy. This is because we are in the moment. The past does not exist and the future has not yet arrived. Just think of times in your life when you were having a wonderful time. You probably didn’t think to yourself’ I am Happy’ You were just enjoying being in the present- or, as it’s something called, being ‘in the now’ The feeling being in the moment can range from feelings of ecstasy and excitement, to simply warm feelings of well- being.
Look around you. How can you be happy…
- If you are unsure of whom you are.
- If you are living life according to someone else’s view on you.
- If you no longer recognize who you are.
- If you don’t like or value yourself.
- If you do not accept who you are
- If you are not being the best of whom you are?
The happiest habit for you:
Do you sometimes feel that you don’t know who you really are? Do you find yourself being the person that other people think you are? Being yourself springs from a certainty and knowledge about the essence of you. The label does not affect it; other People might want to attach to you.
A happy person knows himself inside and out and is content. Identity is about becoming more of who you already are. It is about becoming the best of who you are and developing your Identity so it is stronger, clear, identifiable to others as well as to yourself.
Identity is also about differentiating your role in life from who you are. Unhappiness can be the result of losing the balance and allowing one piece of who you are to disappear because the other aspects of your Identity absorb too much time.
Developing your Identity:
We all are unique and individual. Identical twins may look alike but their personalities are different.
Some people take time out to discover more about themselves and who they really are, whether it’s going on a gap year, coming off the work treadmill – at least for a spell, or starting off on a personal development journey.
Think your Identity as fingerprints. You know that your fingerprints are unique. It’s scientifically proven that they don’t change over a person’s lifetime. It is also a fact that no two of your fingerprints are the same. You don’t have, just one fingerprint, you have ten. It’s the same with your identity. There may be a number of different parts to your Identity-and they are all different parts of your uniqueness. Your fingers will grow and change over time, but the Identity print remains the same, so do your Identity.
Sometimes people think that in order to have an Identity, they need to act the same way with different people in different situations. Identity is, however not a prison or a cage that we cannot escape from, it is simply a foundation on which to build your life. It’s your starting point. Flexibility and knowing how to act in different situations are the keys to bringing out the best of who you are.
Purpose is what brings meaning into your life and the recognition that you are part of a larger whole. It answers the big life question ‘ Why am I here?’ Some people are born with a conviction about the sort of vocation they would like to follow. They have a calling in life and this gives them a personal life map that provides them with a stronger direction. If you have a clear sense of Purpose, you are likely to be happy as successfully integrate your dreams into your life. Those who lack Purpose can find they are restless, aimless or feel dissatisfied with their lives.
Look around you. How can you be happy…?
- If you feel that you are wandering aimlessly through life.
- If you have no dreams
- If life seems to have little meaning
- If there is no higher power or system, that you can connect to or with?
We have arrived at the top step of the stairway of Happiness-Purpose. You have total clarity about your ultimate Purpose of life. As a consequence of this you know who you are; you are clear what is important to you in life and what you believe in. You are also comfortable with where you are.
Purpose is what gives life meaning. It knows that you are here for a reason; it’s having a sense of what you want and don’t want in life. It’s then using that knowledge and those instincts to define your path through life. Our ultimate purpose as human beings is to achieve happiness. The dilemma is to work out the route to take and to recognize happiness when you have found it. If you don’t have a map, you are less likely to get to your destination than if you do. Happiness means different things to different people. It’s the feel-good factor- feeling good about yourself and other people.
Within Purpose, the top step of the staircase of happiness, there are 4 levels that we operate at.
Level 1; – Busyness. Unfocused activity and loss of it
Level 2: – Structure. Focused repetitive/routine. ‘Legitimate’ activity, e.g., work/sport.
Level 3: – Goal and dreams. Activities that provide life with real meaning and motivate us to do more/ do better, etc.
This is more nearly attuned to real purpose and provides increase opportunity for true, meaningful and lasting happiness.
Level 4: – Spirituality or Higher Purpose – the ultimate in meaning and happiness, making life truly worthwhile. Improving the human condition, developing the human spirit.
This level is true happiness. There is a groundswell building up as people search for meaning in our increasingly commercial and materialistic world. Money and success, and all the trapping they bring, are some how not enough for many people. They are searching for more meaning and purpose than just materialistic success.
Hope this article gives you a detailed insight on how simple it is to search happiness. To know more enroll for session with Mr. Pushpesh Pathak.